Silly-Philly
One of the dozen strong Chandler clan often spotted at the club. Has unfeasibly long arms, a very low hunch
and such a bad squint that he can only see the ball sideways on (see picture). Was a very promising colts player -
promised people anything as long as he got picked - but addictions to beer, jelly beans and shite Christmas presents
mean that he has had to lower his sites a little. Is a professional student leaching off his parents and the state
while studying for the past 4 years - just another 2 years to go and he can sign on to the next course. Wants to play
scrum-half but lack of native speed and slowness of thought hinder him.
Kris Hill-Tonne
One of the Hill-Tonne quadruplets (or quins?) that play for Essington, Kris is by far the lightest
and can be seen here being rescued by his mates as he almost floats away again, Plays second row but always wanted to be a
traffic policeman and can often be seen practicing the arm movements - this one stops traffic to the left and
straight on. Despite being really light Kris is a really heavy drinker and is carted home most Saturdays in a
wheelbarrow by one of his siblings. Won Best Growler on the pitch two years running.
Spider Webb
Sadly, young Gordon is no longer with us - he has been forced to move abroad to the Costa Del Doodah
in Spain as he found the British weather detrimental to his training regime. One of the few blokes over 50 to still
wear the same size trousers as when he was 12 (32in waist) he is still fitter than a butchers dog and thinks
nothing of racing younger players over 100m on Saturday evenings. Bloxwich police remember him fondly and
still laugh about the time it took four of them to subdue him - happy days.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrwyn Jones
He's Welsh!!!
Luckily, most people down the club are too polite to ever mention sheep and shagging around GJ. Such
stereotypes are soooooo unfunny. Grrrrrrrrrrrwyn is polite, helpful, organised, tall and well turned out. But he has
unfortunately not won the lottery of life - he was not born English. Still, not a bad bloke for Taffy apart from
having a glass knee and a penchant for stupid hats.
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