Chipper

Son of Chopper, Chipper is a chip off the old chopping block. Renown for his fun outlook, sobriety and dress sense (as can be seen fron the picture) Chipper was a promising prop before surgery blighted his career - were those breasts worth it? Only he knows for sure. Taught his dad everything he knows - probably took about 10 minutes. Once went to Amsterdam dressed as a schoolgirl but said that he did not inhale. Often seen tailing Lurch around the grounds offering advice on how to get the lines whiter and straighter but never actually doing anything himself.

Lurch

The Director of Rugby - an interesting oxymoron at Essington where the rugby usually has no direction at all - unless you count plummeting as a direction. Gained his nickname from always wearing those welly boots of differing sizes which cause him to "lurch around". A mathematical genius and hexadactyl, Lurch can easily count up to 12 on his fingers, 24 if he takes his shoes off and a staggering 24 and a bit when he is in the shower. Is one of the few people in the country that have to wear a red light on their heads at night so that planes can avoid them. Turned down a promising career in basketball after someone called him shorty.

Dave Not Welsh

Coming from a long line of Not Welshes, Dave has shown promise on the pitch - he keeps promising to start playing. Almost as good as his twin sister in the scrummage Dave is now a regular in the first XV after a long apprenticeship under The Blind Ninja who taught him secret things. Almost lost him in Torquay on tour when he spent the night wandering the town looking for someone he knew. World champion fisherman, holds the record for the biggest conger ever caught in Asda.
Will be in Panto again this year if Snow White is produced locally. If it's Jack the Giant Killer he'll be resting.
A bit of a physcho, Dave complains about two tiny men who follow him everywhere - one dressed in black, on dressed in off-white. No one else ever sees them.

Nathan

Brand new!
Only started playing Nov 2006 but already picked as 1st team winger - luckily the game was called off. Nayfun, as we call him, was the inspiration behind one of the characters in the Wallace and Grommit movies. Can you guess which one? Clue - he likes a bit of Wenslydale.
Has a collection of unopened hair gel products.








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